Birth Class, Smirth Class. Help me!

It's taken me a couple of weeks, but now, after coming to terms with what I experienced in our first two birth classes, I am ready to share. As we arrived at the first class, we sat in the room with eight other couples, I was sweating and my heart was racing. I think the fact that I knew I would soon be facing the truth about having to get this child out of me, struck me with fear. It's easy to ignore the inevitable labor and delivery process of pregnancy, that is until you attend a birth class. 

Us with 6 Weeks to go!

The teacher started with some questions about what we think we can do when we are in a painful or stressful situation. My husband, who out of nowhere became a star student, answered with "Breathing." The first and only person to volunteer an answer, and an answer that the teacher liked. I mumbled to him, "swearing." I tend to reconnect with my smart-ass nature when in a school/classroom setting. When no one else volunteered with answers, James shouts out, "My wife says swearing." Thanks babe. 

Apparently that answer wasn't what she was looking for, so she changed it to "vocalizations." Well it works for me...if I am in a painful or stressful situation, swearing is my go-to on dealing with it. Anyway, moving on. We now had to watch many labor/birth videos, all of which I believe were without medication and pain killers. Which is absolutely frightening and uncomfortable. I respect everyone's individual choices, and I am not ashamed to say that I will be welcoming the drugs. Throughout the videos my heart was racing, my vision was blurred, I truly felt as if I might pass out. 

Everyone talks about how beautiful the birthing process is. And I hate to be the only person on this planet who, after watching these videos, does not fully align with that sentiment. I am amazed and in awe that my body and my babies body knows exactly what to do; throughout the pregnancy and the labor/delivery. And yes it is a miracle, a biological wonder, a perfected process that all falls into place. But I have yet to watch a birthing video and felt that it was beautiful. The women look miserable, the baby coming out is quite frightening and alien-esque, and the goop is abundant. But don't get me wrong, the second they set the baby on the mom and the parents are so excited, I tear up and realize that it is all worth it. That is the beautiful part. Being able to hold the child you've only felt from the inside and only seen through an ultra sound. That will be our magic moment. 

Handsome Little Dude smiling and laughing already. 

Luckily my husband and I are pretty much on the same page with it all. He doesnt want to see what's going on and will stay at the head of the bed with me. He doesnt want to cut the umbilical chord, see the baby crown, or check out the placenta. Much like I don't want a mirror or video camera facing my lady parts. One of the birth videos in our second class, showed the husband catching and pulling the baby out, to which James immediately leans over and whispers, "Hell no, I'm not doing that! Leaving that to the experts." It was surprising, it looked like the dad was going to pull the kids head off and if that happened, that would be a serious mood killer. 

A part of me feels like I rather just roll with the punches. The kid is coming out one way or another and I feel like I am being over prepared. It is quite overwhelming and I have found myself dizzy and out of breath while watching the labor and birth videos. I've made sure to bookmark the page in our birth class book about what to do when a laboring mom panics. Yes, this may be applicable to me and James has already memorized the column about what the partner can do to help. 

We've got six weeks until our super little dude's due date and we are getting more and more excited each day. He moves around like crazy, and my stomach is growing at an i-just-ate-a-cake-and-didnt-share-it kind of pace. Well, that's the way it feels at least.