Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Why I love being married...

...much more than dating.

1. I get to shave my legs less frequently. Not like, it's-winter-let's-grow-out-our-fur-coat-for-warmth kind of less frequently, just not everyday. It's a pain in the ass really. All the bending over and lathering up and balancing on one foot. Are we circus monkeys or something?

2. I can eat my In & Out grilled cheese as messy as I like. Yeah so what if I like to line my grilled cheese with 2 packets of ketchup and a stack of french fries inside. So what if it becomes a drippy mess. I can lick my fingers and make slurping noises if that's what it takes to enjoy my meal. Because when I look to my left, there's my husband, his face is covered in IN & Out goodness and his lap mat is a savior. We smile, and say just that...I love you. 

3. I don't have to "watch my language." I'm a very well behaved date. Well, WAS a very well behaved date. Manners, politeness, cautious swearing. But soon there after, I loosened up and revealed my true self and guess what? My husband didn't run. He actually still liked me. So much so that he married me. So now my lips flow freely with whatever my spirit is moved to say.

4. I dont have to order salads and water when we go out to dinner. I can order actual food. I don't have to pretend to be that super healthy skinny girl. Now when we go out to dinner, we order just what we like. We have no fear of the judgements of eachother or of the effects of digestion two hours later. Which brings me to number 4. 

5. I'm not afraid to go to the bathroom, #2. It is what it is. At some point you just get over it and realize you can't keep denying that as a woman you don't...i'm dreading saying it...poop. My intestines and my stress level thank me greatly for the acceptance of being human. And my husband for never saying anything like, "Oh my gosh you poop? Ugh I only date girls who don't do that. You are so human! You mean you can't just not do that?" Which apparently used to be my fear. Frightening I tell you, the things that go on in my head.

6. I become smarter and gain worldly knowledge. No that doesn't stink of sarcasm. [Or does it?] I now have a deep understanding of the recruiting, ranking and occurrences for most University of Michigan sports. I can now quote The Simpsons. My inner-geek has been released with our kindred love of superheroes. It once only existed because I loved RDJ as Iron Man, now I have a well rounded appreciation and adoration for all super heros. 

So, I guess what my head-shakingly-sappy self is saying is, it's pretty fucking amazing to be able to just be me. I'm so imperfect it's ridiculous. Not having to hide all of those things [from my husband at least] is a pretty sweet deal. 

6 Months of awesome. 

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