Too Slow, Too Fast

Have you ever felt like a day is slowly creeping along? Or that there just isn't enough time? Have you ever felt both in the very same day?

This is motherhood to me. 

There are days that I am just counting down the minutes to Henry's bedtime, until I can start our routine of dinner, bath, nursing, books, bed. Starting that routine feels like the light at the end of the tunnel on some days. Once he's asleep, I usually find I have too much to do and there is very little down time. Once I've gotten him to bed, I straighten up the kitchen, which after Henry's explored, usually winds up with dishes and boxes of crackers, bags of rice, and pots and pans strewn across the floor. For my sanity I put everything away. Make us dinner (or send James out to hunt and bring home mexican food), eat dinner, clean up from dinner. Then get to folding laundry or organizing the bedroom or any other combination of household tasks. It usually winds up being 9:30 or 10:00 once I'm done, and by that time my brain is fried, I'm achey, and writing or working on projects is the last thing I want to do. 

It's endless. 

I could totally go for some "me time." A pedicure, an afternoon out at a cafe to focus on writing, getting a sewing project done, repurposing furniture, building planter boxes, painting the mailbox....argh.  I can't even think of more than a few ways to relax before getting back to the household tasks. I am so out of practice when it comes to relaxing. 

But it's a labor of love. The belly laughs, sloppy kisses, and snuggles kind of make the daily grind seem like a small price to pay for all that is awesome about my life. 

And considering its closing in on 10pm and a complete shutdown of my brain, this will be a rather short post. 

Henry and the Holidays

Henry has officially celebrated his first holiday season. And, due to his age, I am sure he will have absolutely no memory of it, yet I cared so much to make sure it was special and Christmasy (no offense to those Hannukahns out there). I decorated the tree while holding him, as if we were doing it together. I let him watch me make dozens and dozens of cookies. I wrapped his presents. I really took the time to wrap presents that in the end, my husband opened while Henry gnawed on one of his toys. Clueless to the wonder and excitement going on around him. He got spoiled with toys and clothes and love. And I would have had it no other way. 

We've also have this new thing going on called food. Not just boob food. But real food. My kid loves food. He's a beast. We're kind of going with the flow and letting Henry lead the way with what and how he wants to eat. Which has been our philosophy for the better part of the last 5 months. We figure why fight his instincts, his body knows what he needs and he can figure things out as we go. 

First it was a banana on his 5 month birthday. And he's now had some almost every day since. He never ceases to impress me. It's like he just knows how to eat, we didn't really have to teach him. So it goes without saying, we will be buying more bananas than usual now that we've got a 3rd mouth to feed. 

And if that wasn't enough for my poor slow-time-down-please mom of a heart, he also just had Sweet Potatoes when I made his first puree. And he couldn't get enough. He even spoon fed himself. Without stabbing the back of his throat or poking his eye out. Way too cool to be my kid. Except he came out of my lady parts, so I know he is in fact my kid. 

But still, I couldn't have dreamed up a more amazing little human. Or more of a dirty laundry creating human either. Seriously. That's my life now, a constant cycle of laundry. Clothes covered in spit up, drool, food, poop. And yet it's all worth it, the trouble of chores is a very small price to pay to see a crazy little dude having an awesome time eating grown up food. But I wouldn't go as far to say I enjoy laundry. Because I really don't. It's miserable. Probably my least favorite bit of housework. Not the doing laundry part but the folding and hanging up and putting away the laundry part. 

And so it is, what it is.

Hips Don't Lie

Finally back into pants that have buttons and zippers. Not that I'm all that excited. I have an open stance on making it socially acceptable to wear maternity - aka elastic waisted - pants at all times. Not because I want to gain 300lbs and forget about my middriff's well being, but because it is SO comfortable..and convenient for that matter. You dont have to button or zip and when you've got a crying baby, being able to pee in a flash is highly sought after. And it's not like I'm showing off my waist and anyone would even know the difference. [Judge me, I dare you, because I would probably judge you for squishing yourself back into real jeans too soon.]  Either way, I'm into real people jeans again. 

Which takes a lot of stress off. I lost all of my baby weight within 2 weeks of having Henry, and I am currently 5lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. But when I went to buy jeans two weeks ago, I was only fitting into pants 2 sizes up. It was absolutely discouraging. I literally got hives on my neck while mulling through the aisles at target and having to swallow my pride with the dressing room lady as I made 4 trips in and out with new sizes. I couldn't understand because the weight was gone. Well, it so happens that a baby making his way through my body into the world eff'd with my hips. Making them as wide as a six lane highway. I'm surprised we didnt need to purchase a second seat on the plane just for me and my hips. [Oh yeah, airplane, we had our first family vacation...awesome. I'll probably post very soon with far too many pictures]

Well the good news is, the hips are moving back all on their own, and I'm back to fitting in my old jeans. You can now all rest easy, I have been made 2% more tolerable with the world now that my biggest worry has been lifted. Don't get me wrong, I'm still an unfiltered, impulsive, judgmental and hormonal momma. And I'm sort of okay with that. I've got my people, thats all I need.

Little Dude's Nursery

I have hit the point in the pregnancy, 37 weeks along, where I feel like I am just sitting here waiting for little dude to arrive. The nursery is done, bags are packed, house is clean, and my to do list is almost all checked off. So I figured I'd post up some pictures of the nursery...keep in mind...that I am far too scatter brained to put together a whole room from start to finish in a cohesive and designer-y way. Our vision was simple, bright, and happy and we are really pleased with how it turned out :)

The big picture. 

The walls are Bahaman Sea Blue, lots of energy, and we just loved it. We then wanted to use accents of yellow, orange, green, and maybe a touch of pink.

I got these awesome animal prints from, Alley Kids, on Etsy.

I absolutely love these little guys by Jelly Cat. Super soft, corduroy material.

Rocking Chair from Ikea, Colorful Chevron Curtains from Urban Outfitters

Bookshelf from Ikea, wonderfully assembled and secured to the wall by James!

Contents include a beautiful music box from Hawaii from my sister and little dude's first comic books - Avengers, Iron Man, and Captain America. 

Again, Dresser from Ikea wonderfully built and secured to the wall by James!

Diaper & Supply Caddy from 3Sprouts

Nightlight by Boon

On either side of the changing table:

Storage Bins by 3Sprouts, which we are using for blankets & toys and the other for dirty clothes.

Wooden word signs that I painted, which are more for us than little dude, especially during those late night diaper changings.

An amazing quilt that our awesome friend, MrsNipperKnapp , made for little dude.

A view into the crib at the white fluffy bear that my parents got for me just before I was born. 

Yes, an artifact of my beginnings. 

And that's that. The nursery, in it's near completion - we still need to find a rug - just sitting there waiting for baby to arrive. I sit there sometimes, in the rocking chair looking around and talking to my own belly, and (heck I may just get sentimental here) I feel so incredibly grateful and excited for our little guy to arrive. James and I are both already so in love with him, and can't wait to meet him on the outside. I think I may be getting to that mom-point where even if he is funny looking I'll think he's the most beautiful thing in the world, and even if he poops or pees on me I will laugh and even though I will be (and already am) exhausted I will smile. 

Birth Class, Smirth Class. Help me!

It's taken me a couple of weeks, but now, after coming to terms with what I experienced in our first two birth classes, I am ready to share. As we arrived at the first class, we sat in the room with eight other couples, I was sweating and my heart was racing. I think the fact that I knew I would soon be facing the truth about having to get this child out of me, struck me with fear. It's easy to ignore the inevitable labor and delivery process of pregnancy, that is until you attend a birth class. 

Us with 6 Weeks to go!

The teacher started with some questions about what we think we can do when we are in a painful or stressful situation. My husband, who out of nowhere became a star student, answered with "Breathing." The first and only person to volunteer an answer, and an answer that the teacher liked. I mumbled to him, "swearing." I tend to reconnect with my smart-ass nature when in a school/classroom setting. When no one else volunteered with answers, James shouts out, "My wife says swearing." Thanks babe. 

Apparently that answer wasn't what she was looking for, so she changed it to "vocalizations." Well it works for me...if I am in a painful or stressful situation, swearing is my go-to on dealing with it. Anyway, moving on. We now had to watch many labor/birth videos, all of which I believe were without medication and pain killers. Which is absolutely frightening and uncomfortable. I respect everyone's individual choices, and I am not ashamed to say that I will be welcoming the drugs. Throughout the videos my heart was racing, my vision was blurred, I truly felt as if I might pass out. 

Everyone talks about how beautiful the birthing process is. And I hate to be the only person on this planet who, after watching these videos, does not fully align with that sentiment. I am amazed and in awe that my body and my babies body knows exactly what to do; throughout the pregnancy and the labor/delivery. And yes it is a miracle, a biological wonder, a perfected process that all falls into place. But I have yet to watch a birthing video and felt that it was beautiful. The women look miserable, the baby coming out is quite frightening and alien-esque, and the goop is abundant. But don't get me wrong, the second they set the baby on the mom and the parents are so excited, I tear up and realize that it is all worth it. That is the beautiful part. Being able to hold the child you've only felt from the inside and only seen through an ultra sound. That will be our magic moment. 

Handsome Little Dude smiling and laughing already. 

Luckily my husband and I are pretty much on the same page with it all. He doesnt want to see what's going on and will stay at the head of the bed with me. He doesnt want to cut the umbilical chord, see the baby crown, or check out the placenta. Much like I don't want a mirror or video camera facing my lady parts. One of the birth videos in our second class, showed the husband catching and pulling the baby out, to which James immediately leans over and whispers, "Hell no, I'm not doing that! Leaving that to the experts." It was surprising, it looked like the dad was going to pull the kids head off and if that happened, that would be a serious mood killer. 

A part of me feels like I rather just roll with the punches. The kid is coming out one way or another and I feel like I am being over prepared. It is quite overwhelming and I have found myself dizzy and out of breath while watching the labor and birth videos. I've made sure to bookmark the page in our birth class book about what to do when a laboring mom panics. Yes, this may be applicable to me and James has already memorized the column about what the partner can do to help. 

We've got six weeks until our super little dude's due date and we are getting more and more excited each day. He moves around like crazy, and my stomach is growing at an i-just-ate-a-cake-and-didnt-share-it kind of pace. Well, that's the way it feels at least. 

Oh yeah..forgot to mention..there's a baby in my belly.

'Tis so. 

The Coops are procreating, and a powerful and super creation we expect it to be. Now, at nearly 17 weeks along, the guilt and empty hole of bloglessness has set in. I'll give you the short of the long, or at least I'll attempt to do so as I encapsulate the new, crazy, challenging, and amazing bits of the adventure thus far.

We found out in late November, well I found out and absolutely melted with excitement when sharing with the Mr., that we would be welcoming a baby into our lives this summer. And so it began, the endless thoughts, dreams, lists, ideas, wonders of what was to come...for the rest of our lives. 

At week 5 my personal living hell began. But, with the most amazing husband and family to support me in positive thoughts, I was constantly reminded, through the puking and misery, that this meant it was a strong pregnancy. Extra hormones helping baby to grow. 

DiRuscio's on Christmas

Christmas with Mr Coop

Eatin' Candy Hike

Sugar Bowl at Super Dome NOLA

I got a brief and unexpected ten day relief from the sickness from Christmas Eve through the New Year, allowing me to enjoy a hike with friends, the holidays with the family, our first doctor appointment hearing the strong heartbeat of our little monkey, and our trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl.

 And suddenly it returned, though all my hopes were that it had forever passed. Another 5 weeks of throwing up, exhaustion, and overall ickyness. Waiting for that day everyone talked about, where everything was suddenly better, while also fearing it would NEVER go away. And then it happened...the day before I was 14 weeks along. I no longer wanted to stay in bed all day. I no longer dreaded eating. I no longer threw up. What?! It had passed, it was fantastic. 

And well, that pretty much brings us to now. I am about 17 weeks along, I haven't thrown up in three weeks, I have a little bit more energy, and I have just gotten back to my pre-pregnancy weight (lost a bit in the first trimester with all the sickness). Oh yeah, and at our last appointment we found out that we are having a boy! Pretty sweet deal, we are over the moon excited and already love our little dude so much. 

I have a slight baby bump, but it's the at the awkward cant-tell-if-it's-a-pouch-or-baby-bump phase, so I try to do that pregnant lady thing where I rest my hand on it every once in a while to signify that it's my baby in there, not my lunch. Because I'm neurotic. Or ridiculous for even caring that I look slightly bloated. Even though I know that I am growing a freaking human being in my body! It's absolutely mind blowing, and strange, and amazing. 

Way too many stories to share, or things I've experienced. Here's just a few new realities I am faced with. 

1. "Oops I just peed a little" is no longer a joke to express how hard you just laughed. No, it's life. Real life. A sneeze, cough, or laugh does it. That along with having to pee every 30 minutes leaves me with a new awareness of where the nearest bathroom is at all times.

2. I would not be alive if it weren't for my awesome husband. My first trimester left me in bed ALL day, except when my head was in the toilet. I was weak, tired, sick, and generally an absolute mess. He would bring me food, he would go to work, he would wash dishes, he wouldn't judge me for not showering for days on end, he didnt get grossed out when I threw up into plastic bags while we were in the car - every time, he listened when I had emotional breakdowns. I am forever grateful for his patience, strength, and power to make me laugh through the tears and smile through the struggle. Couldn't have a better partner in life, seriously amazed by this man.

3. There is no longer any space in my mind for thoughts other than the baby's clothes, the baby's nursery, the baby's health, the baby's arrival, all the fun things we have planned to do with our baby, etc, etc. We talk to my stomach to the baby. He seriously is already the center of our world. It's crazy the instincts that kick in and the mushy love stuff that inevitably just appears when you have a baby on the way. 

8.1.12