Too Slow, Too Fast

Have you ever felt like a day is slowly creeping along? Or that there just isn't enough time? Have you ever felt both in the very same day?

This is motherhood to me. 

There are days that I am just counting down the minutes to Henry's bedtime, until I can start our routine of dinner, bath, nursing, books, bed. Starting that routine feels like the light at the end of the tunnel on some days. Once he's asleep, I usually find I have too much to do and there is very little down time. Once I've gotten him to bed, I straighten up the kitchen, which after Henry's explored, usually winds up with dishes and boxes of crackers, bags of rice, and pots and pans strewn across the floor. For my sanity I put everything away. Make us dinner (or send James out to hunt and bring home mexican food), eat dinner, clean up from dinner. Then get to folding laundry or organizing the bedroom or any other combination of household tasks. It usually winds up being 9:30 or 10:00 once I'm done, and by that time my brain is fried, I'm achey, and writing or working on projects is the last thing I want to do. 

It's endless. 

I could totally go for some "me time." A pedicure, an afternoon out at a cafe to focus on writing, getting a sewing project done, repurposing furniture, building planter boxes, painting the mailbox....argh.  I can't even think of more than a few ways to relax before getting back to the household tasks. I am so out of practice when it comes to relaxing. 

But it's a labor of love. The belly laughs, sloppy kisses, and snuggles kind of make the daily grind seem like a small price to pay for all that is awesome about my life. 

And considering its closing in on 10pm and a complete shutdown of my brain, this will be a rather short post. 

being a woman

We have over 30 pillow cases. Seriously. Why? Will there ever be a point in time where I've used all 30 of them before doing the wash? Or will those uglier ones, or the ones on the bottom of the pile forever be neglected and unused? I spent an hour, very precisely folding those pillow cases to fit into our new (narrow) linen closet.  And then I spent the next hour figuring out those damned fitted sheets. Right as I was envisioning some invention that helps you fold a fitted sheet with the ease of a flat sheet, i had done it! And I must say, I exceeded my own expectations. Laying it out on the bed, taking those crinkly elastic sides and folding them over until it had a square shape and then folding it from there. Beautiful. My old method included a couple of folds and then just rolling the entire thing into a ball. The new closets don't have space for 6 balls of fitted sheets so I had to stretch myself and unveil new strengths in my repertoire of a domestic woman. Ha!

Speaking of woman, we were out to dinner last night and I walked into the bathroom and there was a full length mirror and I saw myself walk in and thought "I am a woman!" Which was quite empowering, since up until that point I'd been grumbling to myself about some of the weight I've gained. I'm not fat or over weight whatsoever, but the fact is, I have gained some weight. But I saw myself in the mirror, with my curves and realized, I'm a woman. I'm not that skinny little girl anymore, and it was suddenly all okay with me. I am staying healthy (really I am), and I definitely want to be more active, but what the hell, I'm a woman. I am allowed to have hips and thighs and all that goodness. So there it is. My husband will be relieved, he's been unmoving in his constant "I love all of you! You are amazing and beautiful just the way you are!" as I sadly groan about my love handles while slurping down that oreo shake. Love of my life that guy is, pretty freaking awesome. 

There ends my go-me-go-being-a-woman rant. It's time for some ego waffles.

he even carried my purse all around italy. thats love. thats a man.

You'll know when you know

Have you ever heard someone say:

 "You'll know when you know!" 

I've been hearing that a lot lately and being a "feelings" person, I'm finding it more and more true.

It all starts with the one. That's right, the ambiguously mysterious, ONE. 

The one and only person you are absolutely meant to spend your life with...and yes, as the saying goes...

you'll know when you know, and if you aren't sure you know, then that's not the one!

The day came for me, and I knew. Just knew, this feeling inside where all you wanted was to do everything right to keep this one right by your side. Seems I did just that, we dated, we travelled, we played, we fought, we loved and loved and loved and now we are getting married! 

Finding someone who has, by choice and choice alone (no force was used -- I promise), decided, I guess committed is the word, to spend their life with me! ME?! The eternal smart ass, forever five year old, unexplainable mix of stresser and optimist, foul mouthed and overly emotional ME! 

And so it was, 10/10/10, an afternoon on the beautiful riverbank in the Arboretum of Ann Arbor-Michigan, preceded by a delicious Zingermann's picnic and proceeded by a hike, it happened. Perfectly, simply, it was, it is and forever will be magical! 

So I'm a sap? We all have our faults.  I love Love to a point of cutesy nicknames and school girl type excitement. I love Love to the point that cleaning the kitchen is a pleasure, cooking his favorite meal is a joy and playing Gears of War is a night out! I've fallen, for him, into an endless abyss of possibility and awesomeness, even if thought so only by us, let it be awesome. 

You'll know when you know.

The early stages of planning a wedding have yet again proved it's truth. Stay tuned for the details, ideas and crazy times. 

The life of being engaged, the wonder, the prospect, the journey.