Saturday, December 29, 2012

Blergh, is that really what I look like?

Now that 2013 is nearing (and clearly the world didn't end so there is in fact consequences to being terribly irresponsible with my eating habits), and I've seen some pictures of myself from this holiday season, I realize how incredibly dreadful I feel about how I look. And no, I'm not fat. I don't think I look like a beluga whale or anything. Perhaps a narwhal. But then again, as the old saying goes, "The camera adds 10 lbs." However I've always been skeptical about this much mentioned optical illusion. I think it was something said by an overweight person to make themselves feel better. Or to convince that person on the online dating website that they aren't actually as heavy as they appear in their profile picture and they are worth meeting up with, even with their sizable photo. 

So, given the above circumstances -- a new year approaching and seeing myself in pictures -- I have decided it's time to get healthy and lose some weight. For my own comfort and confidence. And I've also decided my husband will be joining me. But I don't think he will argue, sympathy pregnancy weight gain is no longer applicable, and he has been saying he feels like a walrus. His words not mine. Side note: His mustache smells like magic. Abandoned his kiss to get a wiff and it's like snickerdoodles and christmas tree all mixed together. 

As I was saying, getting healthy [slash] losing weight is one of many things I intend to tackle this next year, some of which I will be posting further about. And if that plan goes like most of my resolutions do, I'll get around to it by spring. Getting healthy and losing weight isn't enough incentive for me to actually get healthy and lose weight, with that in mind, and wanting nothing but to set myself up for success, I'm creating a point system, where we earn points for our exercise and then we can trade in our points for special things. My points will be used for things like "ME" time, a nap --which would be so incredibly glorious-- and a Crumbs cupcake. For my husband, his incentives are things like, an hour playing Starcraft and not having to go exercise. We're the worst. But I assure you, we are the best of the worst. 

I want to lose 10 - 15 lbs. That's ideal. Well 15 lbs is ideal, but I don't even know if I can physically lose 15 lbs, considering each of my boobs weigh like 8 lbs. Which sort of isn't fair. I've lost all of my pregnancy weight, and then some, but my boobs are now kind of huge. But, no excuses or martyrdom or anything. If you see a grumbly lady taking laps at the park, it's probably me, trying to earn my way to a cupcake or a trip to the bathroom in peace and quiet. Because going to the bathroom alone is a treat. Being stared at by a baby in a bouncy chair while taking care of my business has become the new norm. So if I don't earn enough of these points to earn some time to myself, I might just have to get another cavity so that I can spend an hour in the dentist's chair with my feet up. 

Wonderful, wonderfulness. 

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