Friday, September 30, 2011

hopped up on benadryl

We're headed off to London. For 10 days. We chose a night flight so we can (hopefully) sleep and forget that we are in a giant, heavy object flying through the sky-- yeah, flying. have you ever thought about that...even in the slightest? We are FLYING through the air in a giant metal tube. Insane. Our 9:15pm flight has been delayed until 10:45. All good, at least we aren't in a rush and we can enjoy ourselves. Had a nice dinner, then I went to use the restroom. I hate public restrooms. I saw a lady cleaning them, so I figured, hey, it's clean i'll use it. I step inside, trip over myself as I try to fit me, my sizable ass and a suitcase into the cramped stall. I pull down the freshly cleaned toilet seat, and yes, with all logic supporting my decision I sat on the toilet seat. Bare cheeks to freshly cleaned seat. In hindsight I realize that it is NEVER okay to sit bare cheeks to a public toilet seat. Even still, everything was fine. It was no more than 5 minutes later that my butt cheek is itchy. It seriously needed a scratch. I discreetly do what I can through my thick jeans to relieve it. All the while, my husband browses for an electrical outlet converter. I keep whispering "my butt itches." He smiles as if it's just "one of those cute things i do." I say "seriously, really bad." The itching has spread down to my upper legs and it's a burning feeling. Horrible. I run to the bathroom and check out whats up, and from what I saw, my butt cheek was red with bumps. I scratch and scratch and hope that gives me some relief. As I head back towards the shop and my husband, I'm running through every single possibility in my head as to what could be going on. And then it hits me. The cleaning chemicals. Those aren't meant to contact sensitive things like our tooshes. So my husband swiftly buys some benandryl and here I am, half delusional and drowsy, forcing myself into consciousness. A blurry, dizzy consciousness. 

Since I have time, here are some signs I saw at a new soda shop, old time candy place called Rocket Fizz. Figure some of y'all would like them. 

Can't wait to be surrounded by people whose accents remind me of Harry Potter. Cheerio!

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