Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Arch Nemesis

I'm a big fan of superhero's and awesome things like Harry Potter, so I tend to look at things in life that challenge me, or that I dislike for the discomfort they give me as an Arch Nemesis. I think it's a quite respectful term. Trust me, I could (and have) call it much worse, but instead it gets the mighty title of ARCH NEMESIS. Now, though I may seem brash and at times grumpy, I'm seriously not. I only have 2 of these Arch Nemesis -- that I can think of in this moment -- Stairs & Public Restrooms. 
Stairs. I am young, in good health, and for whatever reason, stairs are the end of me. They exhaust me, they cause my legs to throb and my heart to race. I don't know if it's something about the up and down movement of climbing stairs, or the steepness, or fact that they seem to go on forever, but stairs are a bastard. Whether its a flight of stairs in the house or a hill of stairs at Runyon Canyon, I have not made friends. I don't appreciate them. I respect that they make me feel weak and helpless. I respect that they are somehow ripping the soul out of me like a dementor, with each and every step. I respect that they make me feel like i'm old and overweight with a heart condition- as if I am climbing them with a twinkie and a cupcake stuffed in my face. I do not appreciate stairs.

Public Restrooms. F*ck! I absolutely have to gather all of my will power and courage to use a public restroom. The smell, oh my the smell. I was at disneyland yesterday, and it was a hot day! And I was drinking fluids so that I didnt get dehydrated, damn myself for trying to be responsible. But often, drinking fluids leads to having to use the restroom. When you're in 90 degree heat, about to wet yourself and can smell the bathroom 20 feet away from the door, it takes nothing less than desperation to proceed towards that bathroom, find a semi-sanitary toilet, pull your sweaty jeans down and hover 2 feet above that toilet seat.  For someone like me, with a very active bladder, this is an ongoing challenge. I don't know why it smells so bad. Why the smell lingers. Why humans can cause that smell. Why they dont have vents or fans or windows or air freshener. Except nothing is worse than stinky bathroom coated in stinky air freshener. I think public restrooms should have a back section for stinky people and a front section for normal humans. I guess in an ideal world, toilets at disneyland would smell like cotton candy, carmel apples and the ice cream parlor on Main St. One can wish. 

On a happier, less crappy note. It's been a great week, life is absolutely fabulous and I am so happy! We saw Cirque Du Soleil Iris, went to a farmer's market, went bowling. Good times with the Coopers. 
Oh yeah, and my amazing husband bought himself "The Father's First Year Baby Book" while at Borders. Yep, getting himself ready and we arent even pregnant yet. Well he bought that and Scene It Simpsons Edition. Perfect :) 

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