Carmageddon, really? Life goes on. and on. and on.

Carmageddon [kahr-muh-ged-n] noun: the overly dramatic uproar and panic over the temporary shut down of the 405 freeway from the 10 to the 101. 

Alright, so everywhere you turn there is something about..dun dun dun...Carmageddon. It's become almost entertaining. I heard the police on the news saying "treat it like a disaster," oh yeah and those $4 flights from Long Beach to Burbank, crazyness. There are cities in the midwest that have had tornados, storms and full on floods. Cities in the south that have faced hurricanes. Cities all over the world that have endured tsunamis and earthquakes. And here we are in Los Angeles, fussing over a freeway closure for two days. I get it, it's inconvenient, and it's "something" happening and like most cliche LA residents, we must make it more than it is, we must capitalize on it's happening. We saw shops with "I survived Carmageddon" specials and t shirts. It's become a thing. It's a noun known by all Angelenos. So to say the least, we are staying put at home on our side of town, staying update on street and freeway traffic via Facebook status updates.

Still packing. It feels endless. It IS endless. But the end is nearing and for that I see the light. On the bright side, I found a $100 Bloomingdales gift card that my father in law got me for Christmas. I decided to treat myself to a little shopping trip after my painful dentist appointment as it was right next door...why not, right? I am not a huge fan of shopping and I rarely splurge on a big purchase for myself, so as you could imagine, Bloomingdales isnt my usual place of perusal. It's nothing like Target. Love Target. But armed with a gift card, I went in willingly, with an open mind, though judging the $75 tank tops and $90 t shirts. I needed jeans, that gave me some direction. I found that they are in excess of $150- wtf. I looked at the sparse clearance rack of jeans, and found a great pair. The right darkness, soft,a great cut. But they were a size 29. I am used to being a size 7. Double digit sizes are a lot more depressing, but I get it, that's just the fancy pants sizes. Low and behold, I am a size 29! The pants I loved fit perfectly and flattered my..assets. They were originally $170 and I got them for....$85!!! A-mazing. And the most expensive single piece of clothing I have. I will not be enjoying spaghetti sauce, fruit punch, or ketchup while wearing these pants. Stains are not welcome.

So back to packing it is. Been moving boxes and furniture all day. Sweaty and stinky. I stink. Like balls. And even still, I went out in my white slip ons, my husbands michigan shorts, a random t-shirt and hair up to get cupcakes! It's our savior. It's our joy. It is THE only thing that would be worth going out looking all mismatched and smelling like balls. 

I understand your concern of my excessive cupcake eating. Don't worry, I've been running, I'm not 500lbs. 

And for my fellow people of great taste. Harry Potter 7.2 was fantastic. I cried, I laughed and I wished it never ended. I'm a huge nerd for it. Random story. I was at home depot with a cart full of packing paper and cardboard boxes and an older, awkward employee comes up and blurts out "do you want to see harry potter with me tonight?" Was hilarious, after I informed him that I was seeing it with my husband that night, I walked away wondering how he knew I was a fan of harry potter. Do i walk with the stature of a Gryffindor, do I ooze the essence of a Hogwarts student or do i simply stink of nerd? Whatever it may be, I am proud. 

ryan seacrest & cupcakes

Do you ever have those dreams that you wake up from, interrupting them right in the middle, wishing that it would have been able to keep going because it felt like it was all happening for real? I did last night. 

It involved my secret crush, ryan seacrest. 

Dreams don't make a whole lot of sense but this is what I can remember from it for those that analyze dreams:

I was standing in a crowd, Ryan Seacrest walked by, I smiled and said hi. A few minutes later his assistant came back and pointed to me and handed me six slips of paper and said, you get to come with me and pick out six cupcakes. So I followed him, and remember there wasnt much of a selection. I chose six but when I looked back in my pack of six someone had taken four of them. So again I began choosing, there was a small chocolate and a big chocolate and i put those in. Then the next thing I know, I'm standing in this crowd and Ryan is in the distance, kind of on a stage and he smiles at me and I remember making a squinty face for whatever reason. Then the lady in front of him says "Okay, I'll take you, and you." Pointing at myself and some other unimportant person. Then walking toward the stage Ryan puts his arm out and says "I'll take Alex." As we crossover the stage he mentions that he lost a bidding war on ebay for a poodle which costs $300/month. To which I replied "Oh that's nothing for a poodle." WTF? Then we sit down at a table, and we have some sort of script of a play that we're going to have to read from -- to entertain the masses I assume? We end up chatting and we were about to take a picture together on my iphone when suddenly -- I am awake. Bahumbug! 

Anyway, goes to show what I think about --- cupcakes.

Random thought: these came up on image search, i LOVE them.

We hit up about six different places for sale this weekend with our realtors. It was about 120 degrees out. I was sticky and cramping, because oh yeah, I'm a woman who will be a baby carrier in the future because I have a f*cking period every month. Kill me.

this is how i feel right now. Fat, lazy, sore boobs. (i laugh every time I look at this -- I apologize to art snobs who dont think I respect the artistic beauty of this. She just looks like I feel inside)

That's right, houses. A couple of them had the owner, instead of their listing agent, show us around which is awkward as all hell. You have to keep in thoughts like "what is with this hideous tiling in the shower?" or "the smell of filipino food is suffocating me." or "is the floor meant to be sloping downward?" 

We saw the good, the bad and the ugly. Found a couple we liked, looking in different parts of town and started narrowing in on what we really want. It's an adventure, that's for sure. If only packing up and becoming nomads was a seriously easy thing to do. Commitment is difficult for me (except with my superhero husband. That was the easiest choice I've ever had to make!). We just signed a 6 month lease on an apartment so we have somewhere to live until we find a house. That 6 month commitment caused unbelievable anxiety and my patient and fearless husband had to talk some sense into me. That we aren't literally "stuck" there. I hate plans. I hate being stuck. I think I just hate people right now. It's the hormones, don't blame me. 

Spa in a couple days. Breathe. 

the things we find..

As mentioned a few days ago, the Mr. has sprouted a green thumb. He's been fixing up the backyard and the front, and yesterday I hear "Babe! Come look at what I found!" Expecting to see a chest full of gold medallions or a buried treasure map, I was quite surprised and totally geeked out about this natural history museum status discovery...

...okay maybe not museum status, we're guessing it's a squirrel. But I'm used to catching them like this...

Packing [slash] organizing inside the house -- which is my realm of duty these days -- has had it's own discoveries. I found a $100 Bloomingdales gift card in a purse I havent used in months, that I had suspected the cleaning ladies of taking. I'm horrible. I have also found myself becoming more and more sarcastic. But that's who I am -- a bit rough, a bit inapropriate, I guess much like a pirate, and all is escalated when we play Halo & Gears of War-- but anyway, I found these questions I think are really valuable to get you in a positive place and have really helped me, but amidst the task I think otherwise. 

"What am I most proud of in my life right now?" 

[The fact that I finished all those cheese and crackers from last nights meeting.]

"How has today added to the quality of my life?" 

[I am now that much more sore and ready to ditch everything just so I don't have to pack it -- well except for those mini Buddha statues that I love, oh and that sweater, and those vases...okay shit, I can't let go.] 

The weather is beautiful,  I want to be running through a field...naked...taking pictures of butterflies...chewing on grass...wearing a straw hat. Or..not, but apparently thats my stereotypical view of a hippy/free spirited/person nakedly taking pictures of butterflies while running through a field.

In reality -- which I am more and more often losing track of-- I want to be in a sun dress on a hammock with my husband and a glass of peach raspberry crystal light while snacking on Crumbs black bottom cheesecake brownie cupcakes. That is bliss.

Oh bliss I yearn for you.

Working from home

I quit my day job just before the wedding, I figured that was a good time to start over. I was unhappy at my job, undervalued, and well, I'm capable of a hell of a lot more than I was doing there. 

So it's been two weeks since I've been "working from home." 

A lot comes along with that...

It kind of zaps all of the "not enough time" "not enough energy" excuses.

A guilt that has driven me to make the bed and do the dishes every day.

A guilt that has just today gotten me to move my 20lb heavier self than when I met the Mr.  

Is it guilt? Or simply is it because I'm a WIFE now? 

Wives make beds and do dishes right? 

Or maybe it's the haunting thought of women who "let themselves go" once they are married. O.M.G. is that me? Have i let myself go? Probably. 

So I did it, I drove myself to Runyon Canyon at about 10:30 this morning -- [full disclosure: after having a deliciously baked cupcake for breakfast] -- and I spent an hour hiking. Not a minute of it was easy. I'm quite impressed. 

I'm exhausted, and certain I burned like 5,000,0000 calories. I wish, I hope. Well maybe. I gave it my all, I was eating an apple while hiking, slobbering and making grunting noises. It was for real. I guess it's time to have some avocado (and not a cupcake, not a cupcake -- tear) and black beans or something for protein since i'm not much of a carnivore. Anyway, thats day 1 for me. So far. Thinking of picking up the kettle balls (bells? or am I thinking of Cow Bell, or is it kettle balls?) and getting rid of these "love handles" -- who LOVES those handles? Really?